21 songs

Song 1) River by Joni Mitchell- Now Joni Mitchell wrote many songs many beautiful songs but this one sticks for me. Maybe because the first time I heard the song was when I stumbled on a Tori Amos cover of it on Youtube. I am by nature a sucker for poetry in song writing and thus began the research into Joni Mitchell. Yes, through Tori Amos I ‘discovered’ Joni Mitchell and grew to love most of her work. ‘A case of you’ is insanely heart-wrenchingly beautiful but it was is and always will be River for me. A friend asked me which song I thought was the saddest song in the world and he mentioned songs like R.E.M’s Everybody hurts and Clapton’s Cry me a river. What I ‘see’ when I listen to River is a vast frozen lake where alone-ness has cast a shadow of devastation that no Sun can salvage.

Song 2) Army of me by Bjork- A long time ago in an interview on TV, Bjork described herself as a ‘musical scientist’. I truly believe no critic-writer-journalist will ever even come close to describing her as aptly and with such needle-point precision as she did herself. I saw her live once and i have to say I’ve never seen such power exuding from such a tiny body(save for myself hehe). So its only right and fair that she and only she write a song titled Army of Me. Because she really is an army unto herself.

Song 3) I want you by Elvis Costello(with Fiona Apple)- As much as I love Madame Morissette, Costello had written the fuck-you-ex-lover song a ways before ‘You oughta know’. I of course found it post millennium when he let Fiona Apple unleash her scorned woman wrath and fury onto the song. I dare say even Costello wasn’t aware of the potency of his lyrics until that moment. It lives in my life as an Elvis Costello song brought to life by Fiona Apple’s innate anguish as a woman.

Song 4) Ballad in plain d by Bob Dylan- ‘…a bird’s free from the chains of the sky way’. The song is about a man who sleeps with his beloved’s bitch sister because she is ..well bitchy…and sex with her seemed criminal and exciting. At least that’s my interpretation of it. And the sense of guilt and loss he feels after the fact is nothing short of tragically epic. We all know Dylan’s It, me more so than most others. Out of the hundreds of songs that he has given us, in this moment and time, not for any particular reason, I choose Ballad in Plain D as my go to Dylan song.

Song 5) Ruby Tuesday by The Rolling Stones- Of course Ruby Tuesday is who I believe I am in some alternate universe. Ruby Tuesday seems to me the quintessential ‘flower’ girl, the epitome of Hippydom and its ideals. Ruby as me drinks copious amounts of the local beer of any place she happens to find herself in, loves the men there with a ferocity only she is capable of, tells of her travels like an old wise woman by the hearth and then gets on to the next town baby. Even Mick Jagger in his sexy pelvic swaying thrusting days couldn’t have swayed her. So yes. Ruby in Ruby Tuesday- the girl that wouldn’t be caged. The song kind of has refrains of Dylan’s Gypsy Lou poem though I cant picture them becoming very good friends

Song 6) I hope I don’t fall in love with you by Tom Waits- I imagine the ‘Pianoman’ from Billy Joel’s Pianoman playing in the bar where this song happens. Ive never been to a small-town-middle-america bar but Ive been to enough bars and seen enough films that have small-town-middle-america bar scenes to know feel and love the two lonely strangers in this song. Tom Waits’ guttural croonings create the absolutely perfect soundtrack to the love story that almost happens but doesn’t.

Song 7) Fight for your right to party by The Beastie Boys- This song came out when my generation was still wearing Catholic School uniforms. Living in a small ‘city’ in the nether regions of North East India, a song such as this exploded into my system. I had never smoked, never drank(except for the one time me and my best friend stole into her parents’ parlour and emptied the emptying glasses of whiskey our dads were drinking) and only fleetingly kissed a boy. And the Beastie Boys told us to ‘fight for our right to party’. It was so unreal as to seem a concept. But I immediately loved the song-the screeching delivery against the jarringly awesome beat. Must be the first stirrings of the rebel without a cause and pause who manifested in her entirety a few years later who went on to constantly fight for her right to party.


Song 8) Maryjane by Alanis Morrissette- Those of you who know me know that I survived most of my adult life because of Madame Morissette’s music. It is therefore no wonder that much like picking a favorite Bob Dylan song, it becomes impossible to pick me a favorite Alanis Morissette song. Which is why I don’t pick a favorite Dylan song even if I may have one and the same goes for my goddess of the late 90’s and early millennia. The reason Maryjane stands out is because I know her. I am not her but I know her. Maryjane lives(d) in all of us. We are not her in her entirety but pieces of her resides(d) in us. The confidence we become deprived of because of a once long ago time when we had something stuck in our front teeth and we laughed unknowingly in front of strangers and forever more harbour the silent fear of public humiliation. The fear of being alone, for all time. The fear of failure. The fear of disappointing. The fear of being disappointed. The fear of being unsexy. The fear of losing all your marbles. But in the midst of all her fears, Maryjane has a someone who tells her that everything will eventually work out. I like to believe that everything eventually worked out for Maryjane.

Song 9) In my daughter’s eyes by Martina Mcbride- John Lennon wrote a song for his son Sean. Ben Harper wrote a song for Heath Ledger’s daughter Matilda. And Martina Mcbride wrote a song for her daughter. It would appear that the birth of new life becomes a source of great inspiration for artists. This song offers a different perspective. What a parent must seem to a child- a hero, strong and wise knowing no fear. But that is not the reality. The reality is that the helpless baby had been sent to rescue the life-weary adult parent from the travails of existence. My dog does this to me-gives me joy and makes me feel loved no matter what I do or who I am or am not.'we can never establish with certainty what part of our relations with others is the result of our emotions-love, antipathy, charity or malice- and what part is pre-determined by the constant power play among individuals. true human goodness, in all its purity and freedom, can come to the fore only when its recipient has no power'-The Unbearable lightness of being.

Song 10) The Blower’s Daughter by Damien Rice- Damien Rice supposedly wrote this song for his clarinet teacher’s daughter whom he fancied. It is in the hands of true artists that something as ordinary and redundant as a young person’s infatuations is elevated to a level of unreal beauty. To say nothing of Lisa Hannigan’s haunting vocals that was the touchstone of Damien’s songs. This song was used in the soundtrack of the film ‘Closer’ and in the opening scene where Jude Law and Natalie Portman’s characters walk towards each other in a sea of people. Yes, in slow motion. And the song( at least for me) moved them, like a strong invisible force towards each other. I am aware that I get uncharacteristically emotional when it comes to art and I am unashamed. Yes, the song turns me to jelly because it is so buddhadamn beautiful. The End.

Song 11) Teardrop by Massive Attack- This is the type of song that gives one a musical orgasm. Trip hop at its bestest best. Enough said.

Song 12) Holiday by Vampire Weekend- Listen to this song on a clear sunny day in Spring when its not too cold and not too hot, outside. I could give a whole litany about the genius of the album Contra but this spiel is about singles only. From the intro’s onset, the song’s reason for being is as happily evident as a holiday ticket in your hand. And much like a holiday, it gets better with every progression. But unlike Kurt Cobain’s saturation point where there’s nowhere else to go but down, Holiday saturates and fills itself to fullness without ever bursting. And for this reason, whenever the world gets too heavy for me, I hop on my scooter, put my mp3 player on repeat to Holiday and I set off. It never fails to render the world light and breezy, even if the wind in hair from scooter ride has something to do with it.

Song 13) In your atmosphere by John Mayer- There are heart-breaking love songs and then there are heart-breaking love songs. John Mayer has been put through much mud-slinging and calling of names (douchebag comes to the fore) for his antics with women. Listen to this song and I dare you to call him a heartless player douchebag still. I will allow myself to digress for a bit to dwell on infidelity and general playing of field. Let’s face it, we’ve all been douchebags in relationships. Just that we are not under constant public scrutiny so we are not called on our douchebaggery. Back to the song. If you’ve ever been in love and have had your heart broken and you’ve come undone, the millions of molecules in your body threatening to wander off to leave you like a shapeless helpless blob of grasping but never catching hold, this song is it. When all you desire is to see that person but are so frighteningly aware that a sighting will cause you to die a horrible emotional death. So it is suicide. To be in the same atmosphere. So you steer clear. If you have any sense. But do lovers do?

Song 14) Wherever you are by Celeste Prince- Its amazing how misdirection and misinformation sometimes lead you to things that will be cherished by you always. I am an unashamed illegal downloader and on one of my many trollings for mp3 downloads, I found this song. I was in actuality looking for Paula Cole songs and thanks to an errant uploader who didn’t do his research right, I downloaded the song because I thought it was a Paula Cole song. And I cried after a couple of listens. The song articulates what the spirits of our dead loved and gone feel about our sense of loss at their going. Its one of those songs that is infinitely sad because of the hope and optimism they posit.

Song 15) Me and Bobby Mcgee by Kris Kristofferson( sung by Janis Joplin)- Sometimes I wonder if this song would be as important and here if Janis hadn’t gotten hold of it and made it her own. Because to be honest, Kris Kristofferson’s country drawl does not exactly do justice to the two people in the song. A country music rendering of two renegades in the 60’s does not exactly fit. Or maybe its just me. I don’t know. Much like Whitney Houston’s cover of Dolly Parton’s ‘I will always love you’ is a universe better than the original( some people may differ here too) and the world now associates that song with Whitney and not Dolly, so it is with Janis’s Bobby Mcgee cover. To say it is a cover seems almost criminal and wrong. Of all the tortured female singers(artists), Janis wore the proverbial hat the best. You know when she sings that song, she had her own ‘Bobby Mcgee’ in mind and that she celebrated their mad beast love that was so evanescent.

Song 16) Coming up easy by Paolo Nutini- The story goes that Paolo loved(s) his marijane and the song is an ode to his struggle to kick the habit. More than enough songs have been written about our much loved and beloved Miss Marijane. But this rendering is different, not just because its pop-infused and peppy. Paolo takes us into his world and a day in the life of Mr. Nutini and his lover. In the video, there’s a giant rabbit to symbolize the addiction and the ‘Wonderland’ imagery is subliminally apparent. It is this incredibly sunny portrayal of marijuana addiction (or for that matter addiction of any nature.) that captivates and makes the song …endearing.

Song 17) Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond- My Mizo friends will know the middle-aged man with cowboy boots and 5 gallon hat, the Mizo Elvis, the little guy with the guttural(contrived?) drawl. Well, the first time I heard the song was when this ‘Elvis’ guy sang the song at a beauty pageant of all places. I didn’t know it was a Neil Diamond song at the time(Gadzooks! I know) but it made me happy. For no reason at all it made me happy. Two years later, in a karaoke room somewhere in Ansan City, South Korea, a friend sang the song. We were all more than mildly intoxicated so even the plinky plonk karaoke rendering of the music was all good. Anyway, maybe it was that jolly plump Elvis dude in cowboy boots and shirt buttons begging to pop around the belly or it was Nathan’s happy drunk version or even Neil Diamond’s original(!), the minute my ears hear the first beat of Sweet Caroline, I become inordinately and inexplicably happy.

Song 18) Simple Together by Alanis Morissette- Ok. You didn’t really think there’d be just one Morissette song on the list did you?! Here’s the other one. As an avid Alanis fan, I think I can say with some conviction that a lot of her writings center around her relationships and their inevitable ensuing demise( although im happy to report that she is now happily married and has a beautiful baby boy). Simple Together is a song about two people who seemed to have been as the saying goes made for each other but for some reason or another became un-made for each other. I’ve always held the belief that we all have soulmates( yes, in the romantic sense yes). I also believe that one doesn’t necessarily end up with one’s ‘soulmate’ and that’s ok. In fact, I think soulmates are doomed to separate or be separated. There’s too much volatile energy always. Too much love. And you know what they say about too much of anything…it will kill you. So in order to survive, the soulmates in Simple Together separate, even though she knew God’s face was handsome because of him.

Song 19) Wouldn’t it be nice by The Beach Boys- A totally cheesy(so cheesy you need crackers to watch it cheesy) yet wonderful movie which had me and my friend bawling like 3 year olds has this song on its soundtrack. Its young love. The kind we all know. The place we’ve all been. 18( maybe younger for some hehe) and the whole world in front of you, just a hair’s breadth out of reach. You want the house nay the home with the one you are madly in love with and you see babies and pets of all kinds, neighbours just like you and your head so full of things to do its all you can do to hold it all in. But youre 18. You cant have a house or home, not just yet. Or start a family or have pets and neighbours like you. So you sing the Beach Boys’ song…’wouldn’t it be nice if we were older and we wouldn’t have to wait so long. Wouldn’t it be nice to live together in the kind of house where we belong’


Song 20) Samson by Regina Spektor- I was in Delhi for a visit.Spent a night before heading home at a friend’s after having what felt like my heart broken. Kind wonderful Ruth, I have one more reason to love her. She introduced me to Regina Spektor and the song that saved me, Samson. ‘ you are my sweetest downfall’ seemed insanely apt for a girl with a broken inner. So like all songs that you strike an instant connection to, I had it on repeat for about a month after leaving the capital. Then I did my research. Yes, I’m one of those that needs to know all the lyrics of who sang what song exactly and why
( finding out the why can be tricky sometimes , heresy and all that). So Samson was written by Regina Spektor about a friend of hers who was suffering from cancer. What an ode it is. My little pseudo heartbreak sadness pales in comparison. But here’s the thing, when I listen to the song now after knowing the story behind it, I find it uplifting. Them two, alone in a room, his hair falling off eating only Wonderbread. She cuts his hair, like Delilah cuts Samson’s, and he is weak and dissipating. Nobody knows their story, in what tragic bliss they spend their days. My heart breaks, for real, at the complete utter and pure beauty of this song, into pieces I didn’t even know existed my heart breaks, at the beauty of this song.

Song 21) Forever young by Bob Dylan- The simplicity and genuineness of feeling housed in this song makes it unnecessary to write about it really. Every time I have to say goodbye to a person dear, this song is my parting gift.